Sleeping like a baby

I don't know who coined the term "sleeping like a baby" but I've decided that it's officially only allowed to be used when actually describing a baby. It doesn't count for grown-ups, because NOBODY sleeps like a baby. Because sleeping like a baby is a very complicated phenomenon. It seems to involve sleeping in the most uncomfortable positions through loud situations and somehow not sleeping in the most comfortable situations (or for that matter during normal sleeping hours.)

For example, Henry can fall asleep, sitting up in his highchair with a mouthful of sweet potatoes. However, at 2 AM it seems, its a wide-eyed smiley "I'm up Mom!" baby.

Or he will nap through the dogs barking at the UPS man, (which tends to be a lot of very loud barking) but somehow can't manage to ignore when I step on that stupid squeaky floorboard at 3AM as I try to oh-so-quietly back away from his crib.

One night he can survive on an incredible 4 hours of sleep, with only a few 20 minute naps the next day (which may I add-- I cannot!) and the next night he can miraculously sleep for 7 hours sleep (hallelujah!) with two this-must-be-what-heaven-is-like length naps.

He'll fall asleep in the most uncomfortable position in his jumpy. And of course Mommy wants to save him so he can have a more comfortable nap. But as soon as I touch him, nap time is over.

I'll venture to my own bed, after convincing myself that he MUST be actually sleeping for the night, I haven't heard a peep in 45 minutes. And then LITERALLY the minute my head hits the pillow I hear that little squawk. Clearly this is proof babies are born with ESP.

As a girl I know so aptly put it, "They're not comfortable until your uncomfortable. Their not awake until your asleep. And their not asleep, until it's time for you to get up."

Sometimes I think how great it'd be to be in Henry's situation. Then I remind myself that I WAS at one point-- when my mom did all of this for me. Sheesh I was lucky... that was the life!

But it's sort of funny how when I walk into his room, and see him looking up, recognizing me and smiling at me even though, God only knows what time it is and we've been through this 3 times already tonight, he still manages to melt my heart.

Love you little Henry.

Chili a la Laurealism

I love this chili recipe for three reasons:
1. It's super easy.
2. It's uses the slow-clooker
3. I can take 100% credit for it.

And as a bonus reason, when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner his answer is always the same: chili.

If I had so name it something other than Chili a la Laurealism, I'd call it Chili Mexicana.

What you'll need:
1-2 pounds of ground beef (or ground turkey)
1 onion diced
1 tomato diced
1 Tbsp. Garlic
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
15 oz V8 spicy tomato juice (use the sauce can to measure)
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 package chili seasoning (generic works, and its easier than measuring out 5-7 spices)
1 freezer steamer bag of corn

What you do:
1. Saute the onion and half of the garlic.
2. Add to slow cooker.
3. Brown the ground beef, drain the fat and add to the slow cooker.
4. Add everything else to the slow cooker except the corn.
5. Set slow cooker on low for 6 hours. Stir every so often (you probably don't actually have to do this, but I love checking on the chili!)
6. Switch the slow cooker to warm and stir in the corn.
7. Serve with your choice of cheese, sour cream and crackers!

Sometimes when I make this I cook/saute double the meat and onions, and chop double the tomato. Then I add all of the above ingredients (again minus the corn) to a ziploc freezer bag. Then you can freeze it for next time, just to save on some of the prep time. When you're ready, just thaw for 20 minutes and empty the bag in the slow cooker and cook 8 hours on low!

Next time I make this I'll remember to upload a picture.

Enjoy, and let me know how you like it!

Dear Henry: Cleanup

Dear Henry,

You hate it every time I wipe off your face. But you don't seem to mind when King or Sparty helps!



Love,
Mama

Wordless Wednesday- Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
Define Naughty.
Love,
Henry

Green Present Wrapping Tips

Aaaannnnd we're back.

I love this time of year. Decorating, Holiday Cards, Cookies, and SHOPPING. I love giving gifts, and I double-love wrapping them (is that normal?) So obviously I'm qualified to call myself a professional. Here are some of my secrets to "pro" wrapping-- the first two are GREEN tips, too:

A sampling of this year's gifts!

1. Wrap big to small. If you wrap all of your larger presents first, then medium sized, then small, you can use some of the "scraps" from the bigger boxes to wrap your smaller presents. This will cut down on your wasted paper.

2. "Brown paper packages tied up in string" are SO cute. You can find brown packaging paper in the shipping aisle of places like Target, Wal-mart, etc. There are so many benefits to this.

• It's super cheap. 1 roll is about three times as much paper as a good sized printed wrapping paper roll. And LESS expensive.
• It's green. You can find brown wrapping that is made from recycled materials.
• It's super thick, so it's not hard to save and re-use if you're into that!
• It gives a uniform look to all of your packages.

3. Wrap your packages in more than one sitting. Trust me, after wrapping 50 boxes, the last one won't be pretty-- I don't care how patient you are! Glass of wine: optional.

4. Don't give in to bagging your presents-- unless it's really big or awkward, or you've run out of boxes! It's so much more fun to open a wrapped gift. EXCEPTION to this rule: Definitely bag the gift if you are going to a large bridal or baby shower (it speeds up the gift opening process-- I didn't learn this until I was trying to speed-open at my own showers, I didn't think anyone wanted to stare at me open gifts for that long!)

5. Save the details for the end. Wrap all at once, and "decorate" all at once. It will save time. Bright colored ribbons and bows look great on brown packaging, and I love the look of bold gift tags (they have a can of 50 right now at Target for $5.00 that I used here.)

Good luck my little elf minions, and happy holidays!

Quote It: A Mother's Prayer for her Child

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.


May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

Hilarious, right? I guess I need to get her book, Bossypants.

Wordless Wednesday-Henry!

Photos by Full Bloom Photography!

Dear Henry

Dear Henry Andrew,

Has it been a week already? We are so excited to welcome you into the world! You were born on July 15, 2011 at 11:08 PM. You weighed in at 7 pounds 15 ounces, (same as your birthdate!) and measured 19 3/4 inches. Perfect.

We can't wait for the weeks and years, steps and milestones ahead.

Love, love, love you,
Mommy

Dear Baby: Nursery

Dear Baby,

I'm very jealous of your room... it came together so well! Your Dad worked very hard at taking down the wallpaper, painting, hanging and assembling. And I worked very hard ordering him around and organizing. All it's missing is a bookshelf that's on it's way... and YOU! Now I'm not trying to bribe you, but if you don't make your appearance soon, I'm moving in and you can sleep with your Daddy, King and Sparty. Keep in mind Sparty snores pretty loud. No pressure... the choice is totally yours.

Can't wait to meet you little one!

Love,
Mommy

BEFORE:

Before: When we were first looking at the house. Crazy wallpaper.

Before #2: Crazy mural.

AFTER:

We went with a Nautical theme.

Old World Map and fun artwork.

Close-up on some of the art...

Changing Station...

This is the corner where the bookshelf will go.

Crib!

Snugglies.

See you soon baby!

If you want details on anything in the room, please let me know!

Google+, Dinner & the Baby

So I managed to find my way to Google+ (Thanks, Tim!) and am liking it so far! So be sure to find me if you're on as well... if not I'm sure you'll find your way over there eventually. What can I say- I'm such an early adopter.

Anyways, my first Google+ "friend,"  posted this to his account, and it intrigued me so I wanted to share.

My answers?

1. David Sedaris

2. Marie Antoinette

3. Jack Nicholson

4. Madame Toussaud

5. Elton John

6. Billy Joel

7. Chuck Palahniuk

What about you?

In unrelated news, there is no sign that baby wants to make his appearance. He either:

a. is stubborn like his mother

b. dawdles like his father

c. is competitive and wants to show the 16-pound baby how it's really done.

Please don't be "c."