King of the World

King spent the weekend on Mark's Dad's farm a couple of weekends ago, while we were away in Houston, with his cousin-dogs.

And apparently he learned to mark his territory.

Which as his mommy, I think is ridiculously adorable. The first time I saw him mark a tree I probably sounded something like this:

"AWWW! WHAT A BIG, BIG BOY YOU ARE MISTER! LOOK AT HOW YOU LIFT THAT LEG AND PEE ON THAT TREE! OHMGOSH SO ADORABLE. GOOD BOY GOOOOOD BOYYYY!!!"

I was very, very proud to say the least.

Until I come to realize that he no longer pees like he used to. For example, a few weeks ago King would whine to go out, I would say something to him like "Are you serious? We were JUST out there!" He would wine again and look at me with those puppy eyes and out the door we'd go. Outside he'd go to the nearest patch of grass, squat, and pee his little heart out.

Now, this is what the pee process is like:

1. Whinnnneee

2. "Really, King? If I take you out you better make it worth my time, none of this tinkle-in-a-million-places crap."

3. Whinnnnneeeee

4. "Fine."

5. Go down three flights of stairs.

6. King marks the tree by the front door.

7. King drags me along and marks the garage.

8. King drags me along and marks the concrete barrier in the fire lane.

9. King drags me along and marks the tree.

10. King marks a bush

11. King marks another tree.

12. King attempts to mark another dog.

13. I decide that he has to have gotten it all out of his system. And we go inside.

This was at 9:30. It is currently 10:49 and guess who's whining again? I think we may hit up the basketball court and the pond in order to help King conquer the world one tinkle at a time.

Poison

I love how kids tend to make things more dramatic than they really are through their imagination. Like how, in your memory something was HUGE, but if you saw it again now, it would be no big deal.

Like when I rode Space Mountain in Disney World with my Dad when I was little. It was the coolest roller coaster of all time. So dark that you couldn't see where the next turn was. And that first drop after you go through that lit up tunnel- amazing. But then I went on it ten years later, and I could see the mechanics of what was going on inside... not so amazing anymore (but still fun of course!)

And here's another example that I've been wanting to mention:

One day when I was little, I was in my parents' bathroom and discovered a pretty little bottle on my Mom's side of the sink. The label on it? "Poison."

In reality it looked something like this: (Though I think I remember it purple)

But I saw something more like this:

I was horrified. How did I not know all this time that my Mom was trying to kill my brothers and I? With Poison? She could put that in anything! When would she do it?

My Mom came to tuck me in that night. I barely talked to her, and she continually asked me what was wrong, but I was just too scared to answer. If she knew that I knew her secret, it would definitely be over. Definitely.

So the next day, I did what any kid does when they think their Mom is going to murder them. I was a complete angel. I picked things up, I didn't fight with my brothers, and I stayed out of my Mom's way. I also didn't eat anything that I didn't prepare myself. Which basically left me with dried cereal-- until it occurred to me that she could have poisoned the whole box. When my brother's started acting up, I told them they need to stop it, but I wouldn't tell them why except for it was a VERY VERY GOOD REASON and they would regret it if they didn't listen (I didn't want to scare them with the truth you see, I was a good big sister like that.) So my mom told my dad that I was acting weird (apparently angel-behavior was very un-Lauren-like) and they both confronted me in their bedroom.

"Lauren what's wrong?" asked my dad.

"MOM'S TRYING TO KILL US! I SAW THE POISON!" I blurted out. Clearly my dad was stronger than my mom, so he could fix it.

"I'm not trying to kill you, what are you talking about?" my mom asked.

So I showed them the Poison.

My mom laughed. Which in reality was what anyone would do, and was probably good-natured. But I heard an evil laugh. Mwah. ha. HA.

She tried to explain that it wasn't poison, but rather a perfume named Poison.

A likely story.

She tried to prove it my spraying it on Dad. And he was going to let her! He'd been fooled, too!

In my mind she was trying to get the strongest of us out of the way first before going after the kids. So, I cried.

So she sprayed it on herself. (Obviously she had no way out.)

And nothing happened.

And I immediately felt stupid for thinking that my lovely mommy wanted to kill us. In fact it may have been the first official time I felt stupid in my whole life.

The Lesson? Kids may blow things out of proportion. But when they grow up, it'll make a great story for their blog.

(Next time, on "Kids blowing things out of proportion" I'll tell you about the time I found a million little teeth in Mom's drawer, which clearly meant she was a witch.)

Wordless Wednesday

More Random Thoughts

I know I have been slacking on the blogging lately. I promise I have been busy doing super-important things. Like attending this girl's beautiful wedding:

I know. She's stunning! Just wait until Wordless Wednesday this week... her wedding will blow you away!

But guess what? I don't have to do any kind of traveling for more than a month! This is huge for me and here's a list of things I plan on doing with my time:

-Workout in an attempt to look half as good for my wedding as that stunner above.

-Spring clean. Just typing those words makes me shudder. Any tips or fabulous ideas will be much appreciated.

-Blog. Specifically Book Love posts, because at this point I'm three behind, so get ready for The Swan Thieves, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Great Gatsby.

-Redesign my blog. It's just time, and I want to add a few page elements!

-Get a videographer for the wedding.

-Start finalizing the wedding guest list. And getting addresses (panic attack number two)

-Play with Chatroulette. Because I have this unreasonable belief that I'll end up talking to Ashton Kutcher.

-Play with FormSpring.

-Head up to Chicago and see the art museum and aquarium. Haven't been to either in a really long time!

I'm open to other suggestions on what to do in the next month! And while you're waiting for the next exciting Laurealism post... check out how Jennifer & Blake left their reception...

20 Questions with Bridesmaid Jennifer!

It's been awhile since I've had a wedding update... but things are coming along very well. We recently found our officiant, and booked our DJ and florist. We've still got to book a videographer... but after that I think we are pretty much set for a bit.

But this week isn't about my wedding, it's about Jennifer's! I had her fill out her version of 20 questions, and since I haven't posted it yet, I figured today's the day! She is getting married this Saturday, and I can't wait to stand next to her as she says "I do!"

So here we go 20 (ish) Questions with Bridesmaid (Bride on Saturday!) Jennifer:

1. What's your favorite color?

-Blue (no surprise there folks if you know the girl!)

2. What's your favorite flower?

-A tie between Roses and Bluebonnets

3. Who's your favorite author, or what's your favorite book?

-Favorite Authors are James Patterson and Nicolas Sparks. LOVED Dear John.

4. What are you currently reading?

-I am about to start Witch and Wizard by James Patterson

5. Favorite Movie?

-Hope Floats.

6. What's the last movie you saw?

-In the theatre- The Blindside (great movie.) I recently just watched Crossroads with Britney Spears (apparently this was the only movie on TV in English during the time Jennifer was in Korea!)

7. What's your favorite food?

-I love Italian food and barbeque

8. What's your favorite restaurant?

-Favorite is Olive Garden but I also love this hole-in-the-wall barbeque place called Dozier's (it is part grocery store haha)

9. Where is your favorite vacation location?

-Anything with a beach and sun

10. Where is one place in the world you'd love to go?

-Tahiti

11. What is your favorite place to shop?

-Target- I could spend hours there...

12. What is your lucky number?

-8 (not really sure why... I went on first instinct here haha)

13. What is your favorite board game? Sorry or Hungry Hungry Hippos (Blake doesn't want me to bring that one over to Korea haha) Blake's her fiancé, and holy hippo I forgot about that game! SO FUN!

14. Any Pet Peeves?

-People eating with their mouths open is by far my biggest pet peeve.

15. Any hidden talents?

-Pretty sure I don't, if so they are hidden from me :)

16. What is your favorite holiday?

-Easter, I was trying to figure out why and I came up with this: We always celebrate with a TON of chocolate (I usually give up chocolate for lent so this day is GLORIOUS.) Also it is usually warm and sunny. She's from the Houston area people... us Midwesterners will probably be dealing with a lovely snowstorm or something at that point.

17. If you could be any super hero, which would you be?

-The Pink Power Ranger. I dressed up as her for Halloween once when I was like 8. Best. Answer. Ever.

18. If you could be any animal, which would it be?

-A dolphin... that would be so much fun. Did I mention I met her through Purdue Swimming?

19. Describe yourself in three words.

-Indecisive, friendly, hug-giving. This is a completely accurate description. I would also mention beautiful and smiley. But she is the best hug-giver of all time.

20. Describe me in three words.

-Colorful, beautiful, out-going (Guess I have to work on my hugs....!)

21. Best Advice you've ever gotten.

-My favorite quote: "What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

22. What's a favorite or funny memory with me?

-One of my favorite memories is when I stayed at your parent's house and we went fishing on the boat. It was before Trials and your dad wouldn't let us go fast tubing... so we just dragged behind. You also caught a huge fish. There are many other great memories, too- such as Spring Break and Hawaii :) YES!! I remember it was a huge fish! And I'm pretty sure you caught one too... and yes folks... she means Olympic Trials- she was a fast one in the water!

Love you Jennifer! Can't wait for this weekend!

Around Town: NorCal

You already know that I'm fortunate enough to travel for my job and you also know I'm in Northern California for the first part of this week.

What you don't know is since I swam in college, and the girls on the team came from all over... that usually when I travel I get to see people. That I don't usually see! And it's exciting!

Especially when I see people like Carlene who is so on the same page with me when it comes to food, art, books, and on and on. She took me out in San Jose last night to the best place ever... Santana Row!

It has a ton of great shops (hello my dear Crate & Barrel and Container Store!) and a ton of great places to eat... all in one place. It also has a CineArts Theatre-- which I am just starting to get into-- all the movies that get big awards but don't necessarily go mainstream. So if you are in San Jose... I highly suggest you check the place out.

For dinner we went to the Left Bank Brasserie. Which I highly, highly recommend. It was sort of pricey... but not outrageous at all. And totally worth it for the artwork we got to eat! We ordered a delicious fondue of brie and blue cheese. And then we each ordered a salad and a tarte. We thought these tarts were going to be nice and petite. But as Carlene put it, "these are like a personal pan pizza!" So we definitely had too much food, but it was great.

Then today work brought me further north to Sacramento, and en route back to San Jose we took a little detour to San Francisco. Which was adorable and I can't wait to make a trip back there to actually enjoy the city! But I did manage to snap a couple shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. Such a tourist I know, but I couldn't help myself!

Tonight takes me to SoCal... where I'll be working through Monday-- including a weekend show, but I hope to get some "Around Town" time, too! Any maybe the weather gods will bless me with some sunshine! Please?

I Saw the Clouds Kiss the Mountains Today

Right now I am in San Jose. As of 7 AM this morning I was Indianapolis. I have also been in Denver, San Diego and Palo Alto. Basically it's been a long day.

I knew it would be a long day when I woke up this morning at 4A.M. It's always a long day waking up early and traveling from East to West.

Which is why I thought the travel gods were rewarding me with a whole row to myself on my first flight. But then my connection got canceled and I needed two more flights to get to my final destination. Too much plane.

But when I landed in San Diego (not my final destination) it was bright and sunny and beautiful and totally worth the long trip, seeing as how it was snowing in Indy when I left this morning. But when I got to San Jose it was rainy and gross. Seriously? I came across the country for gross weather?

But then I was driving along the highway... and you know what? Even when it rains here it's beautiful. Everything is so green (it probably seems greener to me since I haven't seen green for months.) And the clouds also seem to kiss the mountains, and basically I'm in love.

So yeah, just to reiterate if you are in California and want to hire Rambo. Please let me know. I'm totally open to moving here. And I promise I won't ever complain when it rains.

Passion Trumps Logic

Swimming consumed my life for, well basically my entire life. So now that I'm retired it makes sense that it consumes my life for a few days every year. This weekend encompasses a few of those days. I become a Psycho-Swim-Alumni (traits I learned from a Psycho-Swim-Dad) just in time for the Big Ten Conference. This year at Purdue!

If you follow me on Twitter, or are a friend of mine of Facebook you know. EVERYTHING has been about swimming and the Boilermaker Swimmin' Women for the past couple of days. I just can't get enough. What I wouldn't give to put my blood, sweat and tears on the line-- to leave it all in the pool-- again.

And the Purdue Team is swimming AMAZING. Better than they ever have. I watched the meet online tonight, and through the poor quality video I could see that Purdue has something none of the other teams have in the Big Ten. When someone swims great, everyone runs to their lane to hug them after a race. The Boilermakers are serious, but they smile and laugh. It's great to watch, and I can't wait to see it live tomorrow and Saturday. I can't wait to see what the great swims these women have left. I can't wait.

One of the girls on the team had this quote up on her facebook page. I don't know where it came from, and I don't mean to plagiarize but I want to share it:

"The other guy may in fact be the favorite. The odds may be stacked against you. Fair enough, but what the odds don't know is this isn't a math test. This is a completely different kind of test, one where passion has a funny way of trumping logic."

P2S.

I found the above image from the Purdue website.

Wordless Wednesday: P2S Edition

This weekend Purdue plays host to the Women's Big Ten Swimming and Diving Championships. And though the Purdue team is bound to have amazing swims, and perhaps place higher than they ever have before, the picture above is what it's really about.

Believing in one another and being there for each other at the wall-- whether it's to celebrate an amazing swim, to encourage each other during a five-second rest or just to laugh so hard it hurts. The camaraderie is what makes this sport so amazing.

Boiler Up ladies. Leave your heart in the pool in the pool this week, I can't wait to see what you can do together!

Quote It

"That's why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. You can't control life, but at least you can control your version."

-Chuck Palahniuk

"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true."

-Paulo Coelho

These are just two quotes from a couple of my favorite authors-- two very, very different authors. But I think they both have truly great ideas that need to be shared. It's the differences in opinion that makes life interesting after all.

Who are your favorite authors? What is your favorite quote of his or hers?