Friday, September 25, 2009

How to Clean like a Man

Hypothetical situation. You have a friend or two or ten coming over in 15 minutes and your apartment is a mess. I'm talking folded laundry on the couch, dog toys everywhere and half-clean dishes surrounding the sink. What do you do?

Of course I say hypothetical because this NEVER (sarcasm font anyone?) happens to me. My apartment is spotless 100% of the time. I'm one of those people who drive you crazy by saying "Oh, excuse the mess" when there is clearly no mess to speak of.

The first thing I would do in the clearly hypothetical situation, is clear of all the surfaces as quickly as possible, and hide everything in the cabinets and drawers. Laundry goes into the closet, on top of the dirty stuff and I often end up washing it twice because I can't remember what was clean and what is actually dirty.

Then I grab the disinfecting wipes. You could say this is my cleaning weapon of choice. They clean surfaces and disinfect at the same time. They also pick up random counter stains rather easily. It's like killing five birds with one stone.

Now if Rambo (aka Mark) was in this hypothetical situation the first thing he grabs is the dust buster and goes to town. On the couch, on the kitchen floor, bathroom floor, and on any visible crumbs or whatnot in the living room. To me this makes zero sense because if there is still laundry on the couch, and dishes around the sink and dog toys all over the floor, NO ONE is going to notice that your carpet is crumb-less. (Don't worry. Mark doesn't read my blog, so he won't know that I am talking smack about his cleaning preferences. I won't tell him if you won't. This is my way of punishing him for not reading Laurealism every.single.day.)

However, in Mark's defense the dust-buster is basically the power-tool of cleaning supplies. And I'm sure the real Rambo would use the same tool if in this hypothetical situation. So I guess I can't blame him. Plus there really is nothing hotter than a man running around the apartment with a dust-buster. I'm just sorry I don't have a picture to share!


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