Monday, February 1, 2010

Rambo's Resume

Rambo is going to need a job come May 2010. And I have convinced him that social media is the way to get one. And though I pretty much gave him a whole powerpoint presentation on how facebook, twitter and/or blogging could help... I'm not sure he's completely convinced.

So here is my plan. I am going to post his resume. And not his real resume, because I think real resumes are sort of stuck-up. This will be his resume of things that really matter, from my perspective. And if you love me you can pass this resume on to someone you know who works for a construction company, someone who is hiring, or anyone else you think might need to know about Rambo. Here we go:

Name: I call him Rambo because he acts manly and squishes big spiders with his bare hands, but his real name is Mark.

Age: 25

Program: Building Construction Management at Purdue University. I'm not sure on his exact GPA but I know he gets good grades... mostly A's and B's.

Type of Job: Mark's interested in being a Project Manager, or Project Engineer for a construction company or anything along those lines. But he's definitely not limited to those!

Location: We are currently in Indianapolis, but wouldn't mind living somewhere new. Colorado, the east coast, the west coast, Houston, Florida, etc. We are pretty open to moving anywhere. Except, like the middle of North Dakota. But if you are in the middle of North Dakota and think Mark might be perfect... please realize that we may depend on you as a last resort. So all hope is not lost.

Favorite Sports Team: Colts and anything Purdue related. (But don't worry, we aren't both crazy Colts fans... I'm more of a Bears fan. But don't tell anyone, because I'm jumping on the fair-weather fandom of the Superbowl.)

History: After high school he entered the Marines, where he did 3 tours in Iraq. I personally think this is amazing and attests to his loyalty, responsibility and honor. He also achieved rank of Sergeant in those four years of active duty. From there he headed to Purdue. He has also worked two summer internships that have to do with the field he is interested in. One was with Bowen Engineering here in Indianapolis. You can ask him yourself about more of the details...


Family: Me, Lauren his amazing, beautiful, smart and humble fiancée. And King our smart and adorable 6 month old lab. Eventually, they'll be more.

Hobbies:
Fishing-especially for muskie (see picture below...) but he's into all of it. Bass-fishing, ice fishing. ALL OF IT. And basically we won't be buying a house until we know where we are living. So until then our apartment is slowly turning into a man-room. So please hire Mark so we can have a house that has a designated man-room. Please hurry, I think he's hanging his fishing poles on the wall this week.
Working on his two trucks which are Fords, but if you are a Dodge or Toyota person, please don't let that offend you. I think he's happy as long as he's driving something big. And loud like his diesel. But, I think if he made like a million dollars a year he would settle on a nice Porche, which to me would be acceptable. So feel free to offer him a huge salary so we can have a Porche. I mean it's totally not necessary but I think it's worth throwing out there.

Building things. Which include but aren't limited to: Two HUGE bars at his fraternity-- Delta Tau Delta, our porch bar, which I'm not technically sure we are allowed to have so don't tell our apartments, his aunt's deck, his mom's patio, a pergola, lures (see fishing, above,) etc.

Outdoors. We love being outside: hiking, backpacking, camping, scuba diving, canoeing, skiing, being on a lake or beach, or in the ocean.

Falling asleep on the couch. Okay so maybe this isn't a hobby but he has been doing this a lot lately. And at first I would get mad, and try to get him to come to bed. But, I'd walk out to the living room and there he is with his feet sticking out from under the blanket and King curled up next to him and it was just so cute. Plus I realized HELLO! I have the whole bed to myself. So I just sort of sneakily turn off all the lights and TV and sneak back to bed. Then in the morning when he's like "Oh man! I fell asleep on the couch!" I just say "Oh man! I slept so well I didn't even notice! Good think you managed to turn of all the lights and the TV before you fell asleep!"

Traits: Focused. Hardworking. Patient. Clean and tidy. Handsome. Thoughtful. Easy-going. Good decision-maker. Good teammate. On-time. Problem-solver (and he makes this really cute face whenever he is thinking really hard. I don't know if you hire based on that, but figured I'd throw it out there.) Committed. Ability to pick a really great future wife. I also think he is great at balancing his life. For example we live in Indy but he still manages to go to school at Purdue (more than an hour away) 5 days a week. But he still makes time for King and I, all our friends, and his hobbies.

Favorite Stores: Cabela's, Bass Pro Shop, Gander Mountain, etc. If you don't have one of these within 2-hours of you, Mark may not be able to work for you. I'm just saying.

Favorite TV Shows: He watches the things I want to watch (which is another good quality... does things to make others happy...) like Grey's Anatomy and the Bachelor. But we have our guilty pleasures like Big Love and Californication. Though if it were up to Mark the TV would be on the fishing channel non-stop.

Favorite Books: The Bass Pro Shop Catalog, Muskie Hunter Magazine and anything by Clive Cussler.

Added Bonuses: If you hire Mark, I will be coming to all of your company outings, and company picnics. Don't have company outings and picnics? No problem, I'll plan them! And I really like to cook, so if you want you can even come over for dinner once a week. It's the least I can do.

So that's Mark in a nutshell. Who wants to hire him? If you have any specific questions about him please leave a comment below or email me at Laurealism@gmail.com. I can even put you in touch with the main man himself. And have him forward you a real resume if you are interested. Please forward the link to this post to anyone looking to hire someone like Mark. We really do appreciate any leads!

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P.S. I hope you get my sense of humor. But, if not and you are thinking "Holy cow, this guy sounds perfect but I definitely don't want his fiancée at the company outings..." just give us a chance :)

5 comments:

  1. Hilarious! I think putting the million dollar salary out definitely can't hurt!

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  2. Just want to let you know your blog always brightens my day! :) - Danielle

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  3. OMG. I need to get you and Rambo to Florida ASAP. I don't have a job for him, but you two sound like so much fun, we can have a beach party while we wait for the job offers to roll in. Bud Light with Lime anyone?

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  4. Lauren, this was too funny to read! I've never read a resume with so much personality. You should try sending to places (that he would never consider, like the middle of north dakota just to see what happens! I'd hire him.

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  5. I love it, Lauren! I would so hire him if I had money to pay him... That, and he's my brother ;)

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