Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My life is a sitcom


You know that movie the Truman Show? Where everybody is in on the secret but Jim Carey? It's a big conspiracy where everything is a giant movie set, and everyone is an actor.

Well sometimes I think this is my life, just a sitcom to entertain you. And people are trying to play tricks on me, just to see my reaction on the millions of hidden cameras... just for your amusement.

And so that's why, when Mark asks me to come outside and look at the amazing rock he discovered, I just smile and nod. Here's the rock (sorry about the photo quality in the post they were taken from my iPhone):

"Babe," he tells me "that rock would cost $5.00 if we tried to buy it somewhere!"

"Yes, hunny," I say, smiling and nodding... pretending to be as proud about his discovery as he is, because I want the people who are secretly watching me on camera to think I'm supportive, "but what are we going to do with just one, albeit very nice rock?"

He answered something about using it as a centerpiece in our non-exsistant garden, but I honestly failed to listen because I looked over and saw this:

Two GIANT holes dug into our backyard.

And so I laugh. Because if a million people are going to watch my reaction, I at least want to look good natured about it.

"Um, sweetie?" I ask, "Why are there two giant holes in our grass? Where the were no holes before?"

In my head I'm thinking: You honestly had me come out here to look at a rock and expected me not to FREAK OUT about the two giant holes in our backyard. My life is a sitcom, My life is a flipping sitcom. But on the outside I'm smiling. Smiling and laughing.

And Mark proceeds to explain. "Well, I was walking in the grass and I saw this pipe peeking through, and I wanted to see what it was and where it went so I just started digging. And that's when I found the rock. And so I just wanted to show you the rock, but now I have to keep digging to see what the pipe is."

"Can't we just call the realtor and have him find out?" I plead.

"No, I think I should see for myself." And off he was to continue the mutilation of our backyard.

Maybe Mark is secretly planning a honeymoon in China.

Or maybe my life is just a big conspiracy and the secret producer of my sitcom just wants to see how long I let my crazy fiancé dig up our backyard on a search to find the "end" of a random pipe in the ground.

Well, producer of my sitcom, the joke's on you because I am just going to let Mark dig his little heart out.  But so help me, if the grass doesn't look back to normal in a month you better fix it. Or else, I'll stop being interesting, and your ratings will drop and then where will you be without my sitcom?

And in the off chance that my life is not a sitcom... I'm now taking donations for our grass seed fund.


1 comment:

  1. that is to funny!! just because i can see my self digging a hole for the same reasons mark did hahaha