Friday, August 17, 2012

Toddlers Help Us Appreciate the Little Things

I'm on a work trip this weekend. Today was my travel day. Because you need a whole day for that you know.

You have to be at the airport 2 hours early because you never know which color the man behind the curtain will set the terrorist threat to, or how many people in front of you will argue about taking their shoes off because they live in a free country and they want to keep their shoes on. Or there could be a woman or two who throws a grown up tantrum tornado because you're taking all of her hair products. I mean in all fairness, how will she survive?

And there's usually a drive through the city. If it's two hours either way within rush hour you have to allow extra time. You know, just in case. God forbid someone gets pulled over on the other side of the highway. Let's all slow down to 5 in a 70 to look because maybe it's Elvis.

All in all it ends up being 10 hours or so, to get you somewhere it only takes 2 hours of actually flying time to get to.

But you know what? Since it's a work trip I was solo, and this travel day felt like a week's worth of vacation. I jammed to Call Me Maybe (not the cookie monster version) on the way to the airport. Sure it came on three times in an hour, but I'm alright with that because I didn't have to bribe a toddler with Puffs once to keep him happy and relatively quiet in the back.

I smiled at everyone in line at the airport. I'm having a great day. They should be too! I smiled extra at those women or couples with babies. That sounds nice. Like I smiled at them in a "Oh, I've been there" kind of way. You know, "Keep your chin up." Except I wasn't smiling at them in that way. I was smiling them in the "Nananana Booboo my baby is at home with his Dad and Grammy and I'm here all by myself" sort of way. (I'm sure Karma will make me pay for that later, though.)

I caught up on emails while waiting for my plane. I also counted three babies and a handful of old people on my flight, so there were no worries about a plane crash.

I peed without a toddler trying to simultaneously lift the toilet seat and stick his toothbrush in it.

I read on the plane. For an hour straight. Uninterrupted. (At this point I feel like I should admit to you that I was reading Fifty Shades #2. For the first five minutes. But then I start to feel awkward... reading that in public you know. What if the man next to me glances over at my Kindle? So I switched to Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened. Which is absolutely hysterical. A laugh out loud kind of funny. Not awkward at all on a plane full of strangers.)

Then I cleaned out my email from over 800 to less than 100 emails. This has been an ongoing battle since July 15, 2012. Coincidentally, the day Henry was born.

I made small talk with the cab driver, who clearly had no interest in making small talk with me. But he managed. His vocabulary included words other than: dada, mama, juice, dog and other random syllables.

I checked into the hotel with the help of a woman named Vanity. Because you should totally name your child that.

I set up the booth for the show I'm working. No one requested to be picked up, put down, picked up, put down and picked up again.

I had an uninterrupted dinner, that lasted an hour. And no one threw food on the floor. (Side note: My waiter could not have been drinking coffee in that cup. I ordered salad, soup and a glass of wine. He brought me the salad. And that's all. I ordered three things and you only remember me ordering one? Also it was only me at dinner and only one other table with people who were already eating. So he could not have simply been confused.)

I worked out, and it didn't involve pushing a stroller. I even ran a bit and enjoyed it. So, look out for flying pigs.

And now I'm blogging with no errant taps on the keyboard from a chubby little hand.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Before Children, travel days were horrible. But now, I feel like I just took on the world!

Toddlers really help us appreciate the little things, don't they?

And to finish off this tremendous day, I'm about to get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. So, if you'll excuse me...