Sunday, March 9, 2014

Spelling B-E-E

You know how there was always that kid in the back of all of your high school classes, asking the teacher, "But when will we use this in real life?"

And the teacher may have gone on to explain a real world application or, if there really was no practical reasoning the answer was, "Consider this a brain exercise."

Maybe I've used mathematic principles in my way of thinking along the way. But I literally have never had to use the quadratic formula in real life. Though, I certainly sing it to myself every time I'm watching a Notre Dame game (thanks, Wheeler High School!)

And in my current, primary line of work, which I consider to be motherhood, I've yet to use the formula Distance = Rate x Time. Which is what my genius (and awesome) college roommate convinced me was really the only thing I ever needed to know when it came to math. Especially in the courses I was taking (helloooo, liberal arts major.)

She's also cringing somewhere at my overuse of parentheses in this post. Hi, Lainey!

But you know what you really do need to learn?

How to spell.

And not just for the reasons you'd think, like looking semi-educated on Facebook, for instance. Or more practically, on a job application.

No, no, no. The REAL reason you learn how to spell is because someday, you will have a toddler who will understand all of the words that are coming out of your mouth. Even the ones not directed at him.

"I'm going to run upstairs to take a shower. I'll be back in a minute."
Bath? Meeeeee bath? Bath! Bath! Yay, Bath!

"Guess what!? Girl Scout cookies came today!"
COOKIES!? Meeeee cookies? Peeeassse, Mom? Cookies, peas? Two, cookies?

"After lunch I'm going to try and get him down for a quick nap."
Noooooo nap, Mom! Back hurts. Nooo... [Unitelligible through tears and snot.]

And before you know it you are silently thanking a higher being for your ability to spell. And for your husband's ability to spell.

And sure you may sound a little ridiculous:

"I have to drop him off at S-C-H-O-O-L and run to the S-T-O-R-E, but would you like me to pick you up anything at D-U-N-K-I-N?"

But for now at least, you don't have to reason with a toddler in regards to why donuts aren't a healthy choice. And why he can't come with you to the store. And why we aren't going out the door for school this exact instant.

You see, toddlers live in the moment. There is no future, there is no past. There is only now. Which sounds like an enviable trait, until you are explaining to your kid for the sixth day in a row that you aren't going on that A-I-R-P-L-A-N-E today, but the day after the day after the day after tomorrow (translation: a couple months.)

So, I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone who had a hand in teaching me how to spell. Though, goodness knows what I'll do the day Henry learns. Insert the circle of life comment here.

Which words do you spell in your household?

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