Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Eventual Man.

I remember a moment in the hospital after Henry was born. It was the very first time I was alone with him. After all the doctors and nurses had left, and Mark had gone to find coffee.

He was all bundled up, lying in his little hospital cradle. So tiny, so sweet. 

Eyes wide.

Those wide blue eyes startled me. My heart raced.

Because in the twelve hours since he'd arrived in our world, I hadn't had a chance to let it sink in. Let him sink in. And he was just looking at me... connecting. Intensely, yet calm and serene like he'd already been here for a thousand years.

Here I am, mom. Are you ready for this journey?

And in this moment I really saw him: This little person. This eventual man.

It occurred to me then, that this little nugget was already himself. He already had a personality. He already had opinions, hopes, dreams and talents. He had it all. He has it all. And three years later, it's starting to shine through.

He can say things like I love you, Mom.

I don't like that.

Me happy.

It's okay, buddy. (to Will, when he's crying)

Me come, too, Daddy. Me help, too.

Sometimes there's a naughty little twinkle in his eye. Sometimes there's a big belly laugh that catches me off guard because, really how can he already understand my humor? 

He'll only dance to jazz. He memorizes his favorite books faster than I can. Getting him to sing is nearly impossible. But ask him to roar, and you'll think you're at the zoo. 

Occasionally there are tears. Big, fat tears that I wish I could halt immediately. I want to be on his side always. Even when I don't, even when he's wrong. Does that even make sense?

My little person? This eventual man? I get to meet a little bit more of him every day. And his little journey in this world brings me great joy. He brings me great joy.

Henry, you grow more and more into the person you were meant to be every day. I love that person and I love you.

Happy 3rd Birthday, my sweet Henry. Here's to many, many more.

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