Thursday, July 31, 2014

Just a Girl in a Boy World

I've always sort of thought of myself as a boy-mom.

Don't get me wrong, being the mother of a girl would be awesome. Girl clothes are WAY cuter and a mommy/daughter pedicure sounds amazing. And, of course a girl technically could be in our future. But for now: 

I am a boy mom.

I'm not sure what I was thinking exactly with this whole boy-mom business, but now that Henry is getting a little bit older (and baby brother William is all over the place...) it is starting to dawn on me:

I have no idea what it is like to be a boy. 

I have no idea what it's like to grab at my penis every so often. I'm assuming it's to check to make sure it's still there. 

I have no idea what it's like to discover that I have balls. 
Look, mommy! I have eggs in my penis!
Those are your testicles, sweetie. Most people just call them balls.

I have no idea what it's like to love bugs. Like actually enjoy their presence.
I looove bugs, Mommy! I love them.

I have no idea what it's like to be unafraid of spiders. If a spider falls on you, or you touch one, or you pick one up, or heaven forbid you EAT ONE: you are on your own. Or I can kill it with a shoe, but of course that means I will be smacking you with a shoe, so you know, your choice.

I have no idea what it's like to want to pick up every rock I see and want to keep it. Forever. 
Please, Mom? Rock play in my room?

I have no idea what it's like to somehow know exactly what every vehicle sounds like, and be able to do a pretty good impression of it. Also: I'm bad with cars. There are cars, SUVs, Trucks and Semis. I will never know which make or model, and I certainly will never be able to tell by headlights alone. "White van" is about as descriptive as I can be. So please don't get kidnapped because I will not be able to describe the vehicle.

I have no idea what it's like to have the ability to turn just about anything into a weapon. Goodness help me when you figure out you can make guns out of your hands.

I have no idea what it's like to want to pee outside every chance I get. You know that kills the grass, right?

I have no idea what it's like to want to pick up frogs. Or snakes. Or other yucky things. If I see something move out of the corner of my eye, and it's not fluffy, my first reaction is to scream.
You otay, mommy?
Yes, I'm okay. I just thought that toad was a giant spider for a second. It's cool now. No I don't want to touch it.

I have no idea what it's like to think mud and poop are cool. Dirty and cool aren't synonyms for me.

And someday? I will have no idea what it's like to change a tire, or my oil. Or anything to do with tools. This is why God created husbands. The definition of a garage to me is a place to park a car or keep your holiday decorations. 

So while I always pictured myself as a boy-mom, I have a lot to learn. Because before I was a Mom, I was a just a girl. So, next time you want to show off that bug, or play "bad guys" with real sound effects... go talk to Daddy.

But I'm totally up for a tea party with the stuffed animals when you have a minute. 

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